Some New Attraction Technology
From Real Social Dynamics Wiki
Hey, first post here, looking forward to getting to know everyone.
So, as beginners when we think about building attraction through verbal game, the first thing that comes to mind is Power Lines, or magic pills/bullets/routines.
We all have them, use them, and love them. From "OMG, we'd never get along, we're too similar" to pro-active prizing to Tyler's "Ok we're broken up...no wait, we're back together". Now, there's a very right way to deliver these, and a very wrong way. Let's start with a good delivery...
Her: Bla bla, I like Paris. Me: OMG, I like Paris too, we'd never get along, we're too similar. Her & Me: hahahah Her: haha you don't get along with people similar? Me: bla bla
OK, seems to be good right? Sure - looks to be a smooth delivery, she kept the conversation going, invested, etc. And certainly you can run interactions this way, and over time you may build solid attraction.
But a few adjustments in timing and with the same line you can build massive attraction very very quickly. Let's look at a horrible delivery.
Her: Bla bla, I like Paris. Guy: OMG, I like Paris too, we'd never get along, we're too similar. Her & Guy: hahahahha Her & Guy: ha ha ha Her & Guy: ha Her: So you don't get along with people similar?
Ok, subtle difference, but in this instance the guy is REACTION SEEKING, waiting for the line to sink in to maximize effect - little does he know the longer he lets her reflect on what he's said, the quicker it loses effect.
Let's look at a great delivery...
Her: bla bla, I like Paris Guy: OMG, I like Paris too, we'd never get along, we're too similar Her: hahaha- Guy: So tell me Sarah, when is the last time you did something really spontaneous and crazy?
In this case, the guy doesn't even give her a chance to process the line, he cuts her laughter short and immediately slams her into a different gear - she's going from receiving humor to accessing and assessing memories, and judging which will be most impressive to the Guy.
It's this slamming through different gears that can create MAJOR attraction FAST.
This is why when I post reports the dialogue generally looks like:
Sparky: So when's the last time you were in Barcelona Her: bla bla bla Sparky: That's cool, so one day I was walking and blank happened, ever seen blank? Her: bla bla bla
The reason I leave the Her response as "bla bla bla" is not that I don't remember, it's that IT DOES NOT MATTER.
Sure, later on I'll be interested in getting to know her as a person, but in the first few minutes the only thing on my mind is to build attraction. And when building attraction the girl is pretty much IRRELEVANT.
What does this mean? Well, it means you don't need her to build attraction; in fact, I'm willing to bet a deaf person could build serious verbal attraction just as well as anyone else. Let's look at a common pitfall people make when talking to a bouncy/talkative girl.
Guy: So, when's the last time you were in Barcelona? Her: Omg, I was there in July, I loved it! Guy: oh really? Me too, I was there in August, how cool was _____ Her: Yeah totally, omg and my friend was with me and she bla bla bla Guy: uhuh... Her: and then we bla bla blal blalbalblbalbalbalbalbalbalbalbalablbalbalbllbalba lbalba Guy: Really? Her: And then john did bla bla bla, and omg it was sooooo funny! and bla bla bla Guy: haha, cool!
Again, looks like a good conversation - but it's not going to build serious intense attraction. Not the type that will allow you as a player to say "hey, shut up, come here...*kiss*"
See, common sense tells us "ok great, she's telling me all these experiences she's had, shes investing in the conversation, she's getting excited about things, it's going great"...but as we know, common sense is worthless in pickup.
Let's see how that could have been done better...
Guy: So, when's the last time you were in Barcelona? Her: OMG, I was there in July, I loved it! Guy: Oh cool, so then you know how at _____ there's a big _____, right? Her: I didn't go there, but omg my friend was with me and she bla bla bla Guy: HOLD ON! Are you actually wearing green socks?!?!??! Her: haha, ummmm. Guy: <Slamming into new gear> OMG, You are! You're such a dorkus! Haha, I bet you were on the chess team in grade school weren't you!? Her: hahahahahah nooooo! bla bla I got these socks from bla bla. Guy: <Slamming into new gear> Ok ok, so u were saying about Barcelona, and how you got reeeaaallyyy drunk one night and started dancing on the bar for free drinks... Her: HAHAH NOOOO, I never said that!!!! I was saying... Guy: <Slamming into new gear> I mean cuz it's cool, I did the same thing, haha, SO, what IS something really crazy you've done for free drinks?
See the difference? As soon as she got comfortable in one gear the guy slams into a totally different gear, engages different parts of her brain, and generally keeps her thoughts pretty scrambled.
Now, the tough thing here is to not get too pleased with yourself and to remember to continue no matter how pleased with yourself you are.
The natural 'out' from this sequence is the qualifier or BIG compliance test.
So it looks like line--->subject change to better line--->subject change to even better line--->subject change to qualifier. In this case it starts with socks/chess-team, changes to dancing on bar, and finally qualifies via adventurousness. Thus - crazy attraction generated very very quickly.
One last example just to drive the point home - myself and wing illustrated here - a great example of thought-scrambling to build attraction, ending with a final BIG compliance test from me - kissing her neck and making out.
Her: Bla bla bla, we're here for a conference. Sparky: oh man, so you guys are like industry girls, maaann, just when I was thinking you guys were cool... Her: haha bla <interrupted by dude> Wing: So, you guys are from out of town, where are you staying? (note, the assertion of 'out of town', not asking it as a question) Her: We're staying at _____ hotel. Wing: yeah that's a solid hotel, I stayed there once, the great thing about it is room service will do anything you ask, you can call down at like 3am and ask for a newspaper, a lobster, a blowjob, a shoe shine. Her: Hahahah What!??!?! Sparky: So THAT's why you decided to stay at ___ hotel Her: ?? Actually, OMG! Our hotel room comes included with condoms and packets of lubrication, ready for use in the refrigerator. (Can someone say horny?) Sparky: <brief banter>, you smell good, come here - <commence makeout>
Ok so, lets review the ground rules for how to Build Massive Attraction Verbally FAST.
1.) SUPER IMPORTANT!!! Any time you say something you think is good - like you know, when that voice in your head goes "man...that was smooth", or a line you read on the internet - CHANGE THE SUBJECT IMMEDIATELY!
DO NOT give her time to process it. Trust me, it'll bounce around in her head and she'll try to process it between thoughts, and the longer this bounces around in her head, undigested, the more attraction it will build.
2.) NEVER feel like you have to address what she's said. If she says something that you feel really helps you along towards the lay, by all means feel free to address it, but otherwise feel free to totally ignore it with an "ok cool" or "ok anyway".
3.) Cut her off when she starts yapping. Her talking is not going to get her attracted. And the longer she talks the longer she has to get her thoughts in order.
Simply raise the energy level and change the subject - I usually do this by pointing out something about her - "Omg, is your hat actually made of Rabbit Fur??? I had a pet rabbit when I was 8!!!
You killed Mr. Wigglesworth!!!" <at this point in keeping in line with rule #1 I would CHANGE THE SUBJECT IMMEDIATELY!!!>
4.) Use a qualifier or compliance test to get yourself out of the loop - for instance in the example above: "You killed Mr. Wigglesworth!!! Ha! And look, you're eyes got all big! Ohhh boy, what're we gonna do with you? So anyway, what's that one incredibly sexy thing about yourself that makes you unique??"
So, let's look at some other considerations though.
Firstly, this is obviously very high energy and requires quick thinking on your part to keep things flowing. It works best for me in bars/clubs/lounges.
Secondly: It's NOT for the timid. If you're thinking this is a very quick way to become a dancing monkey, you're totally right.
You need to be in tune with the indicators of interest coming at you and have NO FEAR to capitalize. Meaning, when you see her give you 'the look', stop what you're saying MID SENTANCE and say "come here" and kiss her.
The slightest indication of timid ness or de-escalation can really derail this. The attraction can disappear just as fast as it's created. If you're not comfortable going for a makeout with a girl you met 2 minutes ago...GET COMFORTABLE!
Thirdly: This type of dialogue can only be sustained for a few minutes, tops, before she is overwhelmed, so while you can start at any point in the interaction, be advised that once you do you've only got a few minutes to massively escalate or you run the risk of over-gaming.
It's tough to transition away from Extreme Multiple Threading (EMT) without a large phase shift - ideally a make-out - though a venue change to a sofa can work.
Once you have successfully phase shifted, and hopefully made out, you really need to develop not only deep comfort/rapport (obviously, as this attraction is very state-based and as such is prone to flakes without proper rapport building) but also VALUE (unless you established value before launching into EMT).
A lot of considerations perhaps, but perhaps no more than other methods.
For me, after I've downed a few drinks, this type of game feels natural and tends to be the funnest. It's also great for interactions at the end of the night when you know you don't have 2 hours and need to get a quick extraction to a diner or back to yours.