A Few Thoughts on Calibration

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Do you remember the last time you met a truly special girl, got your hopes up, and imagined how delicious she'd be in bed?

She wasn't attracted you and -- let's face it -- you feel like it's not fair. She's probably having steaming hot nights with some other guy, but why?

If you could only get to the bottom of this, and understand what truly turns girls on, you could have dozens of beautiful women chasing YOU.

It's incredibly frustrating. What makes things more difficult is the fact that when it comes to success with women, things aren't always as they seem.

It's interesting: a lot of times, when I talk to guys, even guys who are heavily field experienced, many of our ideas and conclusions will come from when we've seen ATTRACTION in sets, and not necessarily from when we've gotten laid.

So I've been reflecting on what I've done and successes that I've had and all that recently. Trying to put together what the common threads were.

Because it's obvious to me that there are things that you can do in set that generate attraction, but that will actually decrease your chances of getting laid.

For example, lying to girls can generate attraction. They freak out and start shooting indicators of interest (because they find you cocky), but they lose trust.

Likewise, you can verbally spar very heavily, and that can have mixed results.

It might be the main reason for you hooking up with the girl, but uncalibrated it might also generate a situation where the girl shows interest as a way of winning your approval and loses interest once she gets it because she didn't like you.

As Lindsey Lohan says in the movie Mean Girls, "Just because you don't like someone, doesn't mean that you don't want them to like *you*."

So often we find ourselves in that situation where we have generated attraction but the girl does not like us, and once we try to escalate she knows that she has our approval and she loses interest.

That comes down to calibration, and the WAY that you use stuff.

The same can go for doing anything really daring.

Like, I can walk up to a girl walking down the street and pick her up and piggyback her. I can even take her drink and start drinking it, or jump into a car full of girls at a stop light. I can do CRAZY SHIT.

I can get away with it because I have forced myself to do it and I am congruent with it.

And when I do it, the girl will be giggling her ass off, and totally into me. Like attraction through the roof. But I'll have lost trust down the line, because I haven't stayed laid back and chilled and composed.

That is why when we hire on RSD field instructors, we need to see them getting laid. Like, we need to go out and pull with them.

We're always tempted to hire on guys who can get attraction like above (they are easier to find, and many of them are really cool dudes), but we want the models of game being demo'ed to be something that's getting a very consistent lay rate.

There are many guys who can generate strong attraction in set, but their game is what I'd call "loose", in the sense that they are sacrificing composure and being chilled back and smooth, in order to generate that initial interest.

That's why it's important to be SMOOTH AS HELL.

Super smooth, and chilled back.

Like possibly the smoothest you can conceive of.

I only learned this in the last few months, and previously I was decent but not exceptional.

These days I will generate the same attraction as I did before, but with a higher lay rate cause I'm chilled back.

This leads us to the following conclusion...

Never Sacrifice Social Value To Achieve Interest!

If you do, you risk doing so at the expense of losing the girl when all is said and done.

The determining factor with whether or not a girl will want to see you again is your calibration. So focus on calibration, not technique.

Can you run a great conversation consistently with strangers? If you can't, then you lack calibration.

So now here's the big realization I've had recently.

This comes from analyzing all of the girls that I've had sex with. Not the coulda-woulda-shoulda, but the girls that I really hooked up with.

My smoothest successes had the following things in common:

=> Awesome vibe. We have awesome chemistry and LIKE each other. There is never a situation where the main reason that the girl is talking to me is that she's chasing my validation. That might be a secondary reason (fine, whatever!), but it's not a situation where once she has it she'll lose interest.

=> Good conversational give and take at some point, which stems from the vibe bringing out the best in both of us.

=> The vibe is good enough that sex NEVER has to be discussed, AT ALL. We just talk, and the chemistry subtext is EXPLOSIVELY OBVIOUS. Even when I escalate physically, I don't need to verbally address it.

=> No relationship talk. Most girls have some guy they're seeing (at least), and I don't want it coming up. I don't want relationships coming up at all, in the same way that I don't want politics coming up. I want VIBE. Awesome vibe. I want to be talking about things that are funny, fascinating, and spontaneous.

=> I didn't do anything over the top to spark attraction.

In all of these cases, it seemed like things "just happened".

Of course, nothing could be further from the truth... I had a game plan and was methodically advancing my agenda from the moment I said "hello".

Listen, this stuff is easier than you think.

The important thing is to quiet that inner dialogue and just FLOW. Caring about the outcome will actually work against you. That internal pollution taints what you're broadcasting.

You can't hover across the lake while you're desperately treading water.

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