Elicting Values

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Surrealism: I've been trying out some new techniques lately...it spurred from something cool I read on Tyler's blog that I wanted to try...let me know what you think: Tyler said on his blog that he would ask a girl "on a scale of 1-10, what is my friend?" In order to get the girl to approve of his friend and in-turn, get his friend laid...

I like this...but I actually have changed it slightly, and have been using it as more of a early qualification technique... Allow me to clarify this concept... not that what you're doing anything wrong. It's awesome you're qualifying and being innovative. Remember, if you're not qualifying them, they're qualifying you. Here it goes:

The concept Tyler was talking about in his blog is a favorite in my playbook: value elicitation (Though he's using it differently as an opener, I believe that the most powerful and exacting time to use this is while in isolation and "comfort"-it's devastating. I don't think I would use this as an opener, but if I were to say something like this during a conversation, I would more likely ask to rate my friend's 'husband material' quality if I saw they had a vibe. To a girl it's funnier, more emotionally relevant, and IMO you are eliciting more accurate values you want her to express). I believe I talk about it to an extent in older posts from former hook ups.

Anyway, the concept at play is having her illicit her values. Pretty amazing stuff. After a girl elicits her values (it’s like an emotional compliance level), it subsequently emotionally forces her to search and identify those values with you. In other words, she's the one selling herself on you. It's your choice which values you want to express (ONS, FB, GF, husband material, etc.)

I know other “gurus” have talked about eliciting values, but I've taken this to whole new level from what I've seen. The next level, synthesizing a few PU concepts, is I eliciting my values while simultaneously leading and qualifying her on them. I consider this a significant piece of my "game" (which I won’t go into now). This ain’t no child’s play.

Here's an example of a simple mutual value elicitation (the majority of my qualifying and obvious leading has already been laid out in the conversational part): I came up with this during a hook up in February with a gorgeous (solid '9') 20 yr old medical student from Holland while flying back from Rio, Brazil. She had just had the "time of her life" frolicking on some secluded beach with her boyfriend (who visited her from Holland) and was "in love".

(WARNING: This is almost evil how devastating this is. I am a bad man . Since this has evolved, I only use this for "putting the final nail in the coffin" and speeding things up with girls I see myself pursuing for more than one night. Otherwise, it's just plain evil to give these girls these emotions and ditch her.)

During some amazing conversation lasting some 2+ solid hours into the flight, I ask Holland girl:

Me: Can you take a sincere compliment? Her: Yeah. Me: Me too. You first.

(I adapted Papa's old school sincere compliment opener and evolved it into my eliciting values model. Though I've never used this as an "opener" before, it just came to me. I was already leading the conversation, but my intuition told me I needed her to emotionally escalate more and faster)

This is powerful in a conversational dynamic. Every time I've said this, I've consistently been told the most amazing genuine compliments I've ever heard in my LIFE (it's not just one compliment either, you end up getting a long story of how awesome you are). Practice this after you know a girl likes you. After Holland girl gave me my compliment, I was so impressed, that even 'I' was blushing. I liked this because it differentiated her from other girls and made me like her MORE. It was like she opened up her soul (gay) to tell me all the deeper emotions that she genuinely loved about my personality in a way nobody has EVER told me. Wow. She aimed to impress and she did. Again, note that I led her to express herself without judgment.

After this, I honestly told her how I was stunned by her comments (now, I'm an alpha dude so you can see the contrast-she’s earning me and doing a great job of breaking me down). She then asked me for her compliment, to which I replied that I've never been good at giving compliments (true) and don't think I could ever come close to the one she gave me.

In turn, I proceed to compliment her based on the positive values that she’s already expressed in our conversation leading up to this point. Being a compliment, I tell her how much I genuinely admire and like those values and give examples of why (ie. I'm eliciting my values through the positive things I like about her-technically, I've been eliciting my values from the moment I sat next to her). Incidentally, Holland girl told me that I gave her the best compliment she's ever received.

So, within three hours of meeting on the plane, I've led the interaction to such a strong emotional connection that she now feels like we’re soul mates (DDB X's 7). I am in the midst of an emotional frenzy and could tell this girl anything and she'd follow (btw, most people only hope to feel this once in their life—and then marry that person).

Now, I've said this in past posts, but maybe now you can see why I've said girls routinely fall in love with me. My comfort and connection "game" is pretty amazing. Better than anyone I've ever known anyway (props to growing up with cool sisters). Hey, we all have strengths.

This FR fragment was only an example of a mutual value elicitation that happens when you create strong lasting bonds with people (btw, I also used the compliment bit to seal the deal with Playboy model). The real work though is during the conversation, which sets up my strong, yet sincere, leading frame and allows me to ask for a compliment. Additionally, the sincere compliment really wasn’t necessary except that I had a flight time-constraint and strong boyfriend LMR (we were already attracted to each other—I just needed to get her into a certain peak emotional state fast).


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