Full Immersion and the Efficient Way

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When I first started going out, I was starting from scratch. To put it in perspective, I lost my virginity when I was 21 to a chubber on AOL personals, then didn’t have sex again for a year. During this time, I was a connoisseur of fine hand lotions and porno—to be more specific, Lilac-Cherry Jergens and Bangbus. Looking back on it though, I’m kind of glad out started out this way—if for no other reason than it forced me to understand everything about social interaction from the ground up.

I found myself tackling some basic social issues. For example, why do some guys have a social circle of cool guy friends, whereas some guys can only meet wingmen through the community? Why do some guys have a great deal of confidence and some guys don’t? Unfortunately, if you ask a natural about this stuff, it’s like asking women for dating advice.

Most naturals don’t know how they built a lifestyle. The process is typically too subtle to pick up on. Plus, it undermines their self-esteem, so they don’t acknowledge it. Typically the only naturals I’ve met who consciously understand how to build a lifestyle are the guys who have a financial incentive in it—like promoters or club-owners.

So I looked at guys who are successful with women and asked myself if is there anything in their lifestyle that helps them. For example, one guy may live in a giant apartment community with tons of hot girls. Not surprisingly, he gets to know many of them seeing them around town. Soon, he is known as the guy who knows a bunch of hot girls. That provides him with social proof and some confidence, which leads to him getting laid some. Something as small as where he lives affects his results

After observing this, I developed a list of handful of the most potent things I could add to my lifestyle. It's the process of…*drumroll*…full immersion. It’s very different than the community guy who goes out at night and does a few cold approaches. With full immersion, you get continual reinforcement and continual social calibration—it’s one thing after another. Within weeks, there is a dramatic shift in your social reality.

In basically a year, I went from a guy who could close the random HB5 on a cold approach to a guy who basically sleeps with girls who are 9+ (some of them are intelligent and grounded; some not so much).

The real kicker is that in no way did I ever compromise who I am. I am still pretty much the same guy. I may dress differently. I may talk louder. But for the most part, I’m still the same dude, who is a thinker and enjoys his alone time. Oddly enough, I think it’s these guys who have the potential to get the best results. They may struggle initially in pulling from dance clubs, but if they can tweak things in their lifestyle, they can get unparalleled results for years on end. These guys can see the big picture. These guys won’t believe it, but it’s true. They just need to man up and take action.

If you’re curious, the big things I did, in order of importance, are:

1) Get part-time at cool clothing store for roughly a year. It’s easiest to get a job when they’re hiring in between seasons or for holidays. 2) Move to area with many young people. 3) Dress trendier. 4) Work out. 5) Take up a serious hobby that makes it easy to network with socially plugged-in people. For some guys, this means being a DJ, musician, or club promoter. But it can really be something as small as a photographer for models or handling multimedia for music groups. In **** *******’ case, it was being a writer for Rolling Stone. Do something that actually interests you. 6) Play team sports.

I didn’t do it all at once, but over the course of a year I made sustained effort with each of them. Some of them can be done with minimal effort—like dressing differently and moving. Some take more time. If a guy were do things similar to this on top of cold approaches 2-3 nights per week and a bootcamp, it would be impossible not to make massive progress quickly.

Yes, impossible.

Actually, getting good with cold approaches is secondary here. The most important thing here is this: once you learn how to build a lifestyle in a systematic way, it’s almost impossible to unlearn it. Your mind will continually focus on honing your lifestyle. Things will get easier and easier for you.

For example, after six months of working at a clothing store, I was thinking, “Fuck, the novelty has worn off now. But if I leave, my results will go down.” But sure enough, my mind figured out a way. It was something completely unforeseeable at the time, but sure enough, something materialized and my game got ratcheted up even more. Yes, it will happen with you too.

In another post, I will talk about ramping up your game to even another level using the concept of the high-powered identity. This will basically involves taking that hobby from point #5, and leveraging that to build an enormous amount of social value around the girls you want to meet. But that’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and if the guy followed the simple gameplan above he would have more girls than he could possible want anyway.

Guys will have several objections to all this, which are understandable.

Objection #1: You don’t need to work in a clothing store to pull hot girls

Response: These guys are missing the point. It is merely an efficient way to model an experience that every natural had growing up: they were introduced to hot girls in controlled, low-energy environment through their social circle or lifestyle. Somewhere along the line naturals got a core feeling they are part of the same social world as hot girls. They don’t get that sense of disconnect that community guys get, who say things like: “I would rather date an 8 than a 10.”

I’m sure there are other ways a guy could model this experience, but it’s simply the easiest and most efficient route I came across. A guy could join a cool frat, but some guys aren’t in college. A guy could become a bartender, but the hours really suck. I suppose a guy could work in a tanning salon or something, but that seems kind of boring and effeminate. But hey, if it works then it works.

Finally, guys who say this are taking one single thing out of an overall gameplan. Moreover, this gameplan works. Just about any guy who follows it will get good quickly. Considering that most guys in the community aren’t making real progress—and most gurus will acknowledge this—I think the gameplan is worth considering.

I basically viewed working in a cool clothing store like this: I’m getting paid to become good with women and get good advice on my style. Most community gurus would charge you several thousands dollars for this.

Objection #2: But this method makes you a phony. It’s one thing to use routines and tactics. It’s another thing to change your entire lifestyle.

Response: Like I said, I’m more-or-less the same person now as I was back in the day. In fact using this method, it has given me even more time to focus on the things I want to focus on: exercise, my health, my career, enjoying life, and bettering myself. I read more now than I ever did. I’m in better shape now than I’ve ever been. I’m doing a job I enjoy, and it pays me very well. If a guy can truly reconcile these things with going out several nights per week for years on end, then more power to him. The only people I’ve seen who can do it are: students, full-time PUAs, and guys with fairly low-skill jobs.

The big distinction is not whether you are willing to sacrifice your identity. It’s whether you pick a highly efficient learning method over a highly draining and inefficient method.

Objection #3: But you cheated using this method. You didn’t go through some emotionally-grinding rite of passage.

Response: Why should pulling hot girls be some baptism by fire? Quit making things unnecessarily difficult. There plenty of ways to define yourself as a man. Pulling HB9BimboCosmetologist from a dance club isn’t one of them.

Objection #4: But your cold approach games will go down.

Response: My cold approach game is more natural and tighter than it’s ever been. Yours will be too.

[1] Original thread

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