Getting sexual on day1

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Lets face it, in our line of work there’s really no such thing as the “slow-game”. For guys like us things either move fast or move really fast. Hopefully with this, I’ll be able to shed some light on how to get things very sexual, very quickly on the day1. This can be broken down into several sub-sections which I’ll go into, but basically the idea is…

1.) Create the vibe

2.) Open direct.

3.) Project sexual state

4.) Progressively escalate the conversation

5.) Progressively escalate kino / project sexual state

6.) Protect your buying temperature!

7.) Pull to nearest semi-private location

<Note: Most of these are happening simultaneously>

If you can get the hang of the above, you’ll be able to regularly pull girls right from the bar to the bathroom, alley behind the bar, nearest hotel, or straight back to yours with minimal time spent with her.

The key here really lies in escalating the conversation, which I’ve yet to see mentioned anywhere else, and has also been pretty hard for me to figure out. Essentially the idea is that every type of statement falls somewhere on a scale based on how sexual and how personal it is. The idea is to keep moving forward at all times (maybe a baby-step back here and there) and to pull once you reach the top of the ladder, while managing the other 4 pieces of the puzzle. We’ll get into this in more detail, right now let’s start at the very beginning and talk about being social.

In a bar/club/whatever the identity we want to most avoid is ‘predator chode,’ who hides in his chode crystal waiting to approach the first available attractive girl. This has been harped on by others ad nauseaem yet continues to be seen. There are a couple easy ways to fix this.

A.) Say hi to EVERYBODY. I like to arrive early and simply introduce myself to anybody who stands in my proximity, anyone who I need to squeeze by to get to the bar or somewhere, or who anyone makes eye contact with me. (note, if they’re in a group introduce yourself to the whole group) A simple “Hi, I’m Sparky, nice to meet you” works fine. If you like you can even stretch it to a comment about the venue or the person’s outfit and vibe from there. As long as you do so without needyness – i.e. don’t try to hold the person in conversation, simply be content to introduce yourself, swap a line or 2 of banter, and walk away – people will be receptive and will help you out later in the night.

B.) Dance! Don’t try to get freaky with girls. Simply dance and smile. Dance at the bar, dance on the dancefloor, dance on the stairs. If a girl crosses your path, just dance in front of her and smile. Maybe she’ll dance with you, maybe she’ll continue on her way, either way you’ve increased your chances of pulling her later in the night. Again, do this without being needy. Learn to enjoy dancing by yourself. And when you do dance with others, do not discriminate! Dance with the BBW to your left for a minute, then dance with the hottie behind you for a minute, then salsa with the 40 yr old Spanish woman. Don’t try to get behind them and grind on their ass, just put yourself in front of them and move to the beat with a smile on your face. If they try to grind you, fine…but don’t try for it off the break.

Now when you approach a girl, either on the dance floor or at the bar, you’re not doing so because she’s got nice tits. You’re doing it because that’s what you’ve done with everybody and that’s who you are. You also have a ton of friends now who you can introduce her to. (she’ll assume you know them, they’ll assume you know her, everybody will make nice).

So somewhere during all this being social and dancing, you will see a girl you’re attracted to. So naturally, let’s get into opening:

Opening: Let’s think about the most popular openers out there…80’s dogs, who lies more, ect. What is it about these timeless (lame) classics that continually draws countless chodes? The proliferation of the canned opinion opener can be attributed to two key reasons. 1.) Since the opener came from the internet, if a girl reacts negatively to it it’s not the guy’s fault, rather either the opener sucks (written by someone else), the girl sucks (she didn’t like the canned money opener), etc. In short, the guy’s ego is protected. And 2.) They are the safest – or rather lowest on the verbal escalation ladder. They are neither personal (talking about something abstract and not related to the guy or girl), nor are they sexual (puppies names).

Interestingly enough, it’s the same reasoning that makes opinion openers appealing that also makes them suck.

Let’s think about The CLAW…what makes it work so well? We all hear things tossed around like “the claw is firm but fair,” “the claw doesn’t discriminate” etc. But bottom line the claw is DECISIVE! Weakness is the enemy of The Claw. Claw with timid-ness and face a night of solitude – Claw with conviction and the world is yours.

Ok, enough with the abstract claw rhetoric. Fact is, there is a ladder to sexual escalation, and by using the Claw you are automatically starting the set at a somewhat physically escalated point (dominant kino). The girl recognizes (most likely subconsciously) your boldness in beginning the interaction at a somewhat physically escalated point and naturally perceives this as a sign of value.

The same applies verbally. Opinion openers are the absolute least escalated form of dialogue possible. So yes, you can open with them – but basically you’re starting at square 0. Instead life can be so much easier if you simply open with the same conviction and verbal escalation that’s mirrored physically with The Claw.

Some examples of my favorite openers are

“Hey, I’m very good looking and I want to meet you, I’m Sparky <extend hand>”.

“Haha, that’s twice tonight, what’s your deal, who are you?....ok cool so it may be just me, but I’m pretty sure we shared a moment there. We did, didn’t we…”

“Hey, who ARE you?”

“Hey, I’ve got pretty cool hair but THAT <point> is fuking awesome, and coming from me that should mean a lot. I’m Sparky, what’s your name?”


I can keep going but the idea is that all of these is they convey direct interest in the girl while establishing yourself as coming from a position of value. The first two use humor, but still set the tone ‘I’m hot shit and I get what I want.’ The latter two are more direct but still convey a playful dominance.

From here, you can see how any dialogue is going to be personal in nature. i.e.

Sparky: Who ARE you?

HB: What do you mean who am I? I’m Lisa, who are you?

Sparky: Well little miss Lisa, I’m Sparky, nice to meet you. Why are you here?

HB: Well my friends and I wanted to go out bla bla…

Sparky: No no, I mean, why are you in San Francisco? What are you doing here?

There’s a few things going on here. Firstly, pretty obvious, it’s 100% my frame.

What’s interesting is the tone and positioning from which I frame the interaction. Rather than normal chode-interview dialogue there’s an almost interrogatory tone here and a feeling of tension – as if I’m clearly GOING somewhere rather than just trying to keep the conversation alive. Also notice that she interpreted my questions in the least personal way possible, which I then re-framed and escalated on.

So when I ask “who ARE you?” the least personal answer is “I’m Lisa.” Moving up would be “I’m Lisa Evans.” And even higher on the ladder would be “I’m an artist” or “I’m a dreamer.” So when I say “Why are you here,” she again gives the least escalated response – talking about something completely impersonal and relevant only to a few hours of her life. I escalate a great deal here when I reframe to “no, why are you in San Francisco” – and since she’s already committed to answering the initial question, she’ll oblige and answer this one as well, giving us a great, highly personal verbally escalated starting point.

Sparky: No no, I mean, you are you in San Francisco? What are you doing here?

HB: Oh…well I moved out here for work last year. I really wanted to be in advertising and this was the best place for me to do it.

Sparky: So you packed up, kissed your family goodbye, and left Iowa for the big city? HB: Iowa!?!? Haha no, I moved from _____, bla bla, what about you?

So, with a little bit of boldness and some clever steering of the conversation you can see how we pretty quickly get the interaction personal and charge it with tension right from the get-go.

From here, it’d be counter-productive to revert to some random DHV story about camping and finding bear shit – as it’s neither personal nor sexual. Instead, you can still establish value, but do so in a personal way, such as “Yeah, it was really hard for me to move back from Europe to the U.S. as a lot of my best friends are still there and bla bla bla”.

Project Sexual State: I don’t want to go too much into this here, but basically the idea is to look her in the eyes and think about her giving you head while you talk to her. Feel your own horniness and imagine bending her over or getting head from her as she speaks. Don’t feel like you need to apologize for being a man – rather, embrace your masculine feelings and let her feel them as well. This has been written about masterfully by others so I’ll avoid going into it further.

Progressively Escalate Kino: As Mayhem pointed out, this isn’t a linear process. Just realize that obviously rubbing a girl’s ass is more escalated than touching her shoulder. Kino off the break and be very touchy-feels. Lots of arm around her, touching her stomach, slapping her ass (if you know how), kissing her neck, ect. Oh, and don’t become tacky club make-out guy.

Also, leading is key. Lead her from one end of the club to the bar, to the dance floor, to the bar, to the door, ect. And make sure to introduce her to all the social proof you created at the beginning of the night.

Protect Your Buying Temperature:

This is absolutely crucial! Not only must you protect your pull from other guys, you also have to watch out for her friends that will pretty quickly catch on and put an end to things if you’re not careful.

So with regards to the friends, never ever let them think you’re leaving to bang the girl – I can’t tell you how many pulls I’ve had sabotaged by the less attractive friends. Obviously you should try to charm the friends and get them on your side. Statement of interests to the friends can be really useful here, along the lines of “I really like your friend, I don’t know why, but I feel like we’re really on the same page with a lot of things”. Also, don’t leave her alone with her friends unless you’re sure you’ve got them on your side.

With regards to other guys, recognize that BUYING TEMP IS TRANSFERABLE! The fact that she was making out with you 5 mins ago means she’s super horny and ultra-receptive to the next guy who comes along. If you must leave her side, either get a wing to keep her occupied, or get her friends to watch her. If you do leave and return to see her with another guy you have a few options. 1.) Blow him out (least favorable). 2.) Get your wing to engage the guy and scoop her back. (ok) 3.) Tell her friends what’s going on and get them to pull her back for you. A simple “hey I really like your friend, can you help me out by getting her away from this guy?” is really powerful here as you now have the friends HELPING you pick up her friend – so they can hardly object later on.

Pulling to Semi-Private Location:

The pull is probably the easiest piece of the puzzle. If you’ve escalated your kino and dialogue properly it’s only a natural extension of the interaction. Especially if you hit the top piece of the verbal escalation scale, in which there’s literally nothing left to say. If her friends aren’t around your job is much easier. I’ve had success being both direct and indirect here, though I prefer the latter. So once I feel like she’s ready, I’ll casually say “hey, come with me outside to smoke a cigarette” or “hey, I want to grab my cigarettes from the car but I’ve got really poor night vision, can you walk me?” or “hey come outside with me” or “hey, walk me to the bathroom” – you get the point. After you say it, just take her hand and begin walking. Don’t look back – just go.

The moment you have an available semi-isolated location (doorway, hallway, bathroom, alley, ect) roughly plant her against the wall and begin making out, hard. Do this for maybe half a minute or more (depending on the girl) then turn her around and begin grinding on her ass while you kiss her neck. You start fingering her over her pants, or proceed how ever else you see fit. The key here is dominance. Also, don’t be shy about putting her hand on your cock.

And finally if the girl is with her friends, brief her girl on how things need to go down for the pull to happen. For example:

Sparky: Listen, tell your friends we’re hungry and we’re going to get some food and we’ll be back in a half hour before the club closes.

Or

Sparky: Listen, tell your friends you’re walking with me me to ____ and we’ll be right back.

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