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Real Social Dynamics Wiki - How to Get Good in 2008 (like, for real)

How to Get Good in 2008 (like, for real)

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There are probably a lot of guys on here making resolutions that 2008 will be the big year. Or maybe there are some guys who are just getting started in the community. I think both are great. But what gameplan are you going to follow?

This is how you can get good in one year. By good, I mean on the same level as most instructors at most reputable companies—the ability to pick up lots 7’s and 8’s and the occasional 9. The goal here is to become a socially cool guy, who is good with women.

Some guys may provide feedback on this post, and I encourage it. However, I want to add a caveat. If you are going to add something, please only include advice that works from your personal life. It’s when guys stop doing this that bad advice starts circulating—for example, saying comedy improv or martial arts will help you with women. They won’t.

In my own life, I know the following advice works. If you follow this advice, you get good very quickly. If you have similar things that get you laid and ramped up your progress in a matter of months, then please add them. In fact, even you don't, you probably want to commit to a tangible gameplan of things that make you better with women. Below I have gameplan that makes you good in one year.

The process by which you learn is called full immersion. It's similar to learning a foreign language by living in that country, where you will learn very quickly. You are going to develop a lifestyle that generates constant momentum. I’ll explain this.

Have you ever noticed how when you wake up the morning after going out, you're in a social mood? You just know if were to chat up a girl right then, you would be "on." But instead of going out, you hang around the house. After all, there aren’t that many sets in the morning. By noon, you're back to your old self. By 9pm that night, you need to get warmed up all over again. You had momentum but you lost it.

Now suppose you had a lifestyle captures and generates this momentum--where every day the small successes compound. You would get very good, very quickly. In fact, over the course of maybe two days you would make more progress than some guys make in months. This is very possible. It can be done at bootcamp. You are going to develop a lifestyle where it happens everyday—for one year.

What you won’t find here are things like: comedy improv, NLP, stripper game, toastmasters, breakthrough comfort techniques, progressive sexual framing, meditation, karate, hypnosis, “deep inner game” work, or weird social pressure exercises that basically entail harassing women in a local shopping mall.

It always baffles me when new guys do these types of things. These niche things fall into three categories: (1) things that you should reserve for when you’re actually sleeping with girls regularly—things like comfort techniques and framing. (2) Things have no impact on your game—like toastmasters and comedy improv. It’s ironic that the guys who do the most comedy improv also suck with women. (3) Things that make you weird—things like hypnosis and “deep inner game” work.

Inner happiness and a sense of purpose will be things you add on later. Right now, the goals is to become a cool guy, who gets laid.

There are several ways one could do this. Cold approaches will simply one of several aspects you will pursue. This is one game plan that I consider chode-proof: that is, if a chode were to follow this game plan he would get good regardless of his self-sabotaging tendencies. The chode simply needs to put one foot in front of the other and keep going for one year.


[edit] The Chode-Proof Gameplan

Start working out. It provides initial confidence and sense of social entitlement. If you have a hard time staying motivated, commit to a personal trainer for 1-2 months. You can find the time to work out 45 minutes per day 4x per week.

No, karate or meditation doesn’t count as working out.

Start dressing cool. Save up $400 and go to a small designer clothing store (not the mall), and ask the staff to help you. You are going to buy a cool pair of jeans, which probably cost $150+, 2 cool shirts, and a cool pair of shoes. Tell the staff you’re looking to change your style and would like clothes that stick out but don’t look try-hard.

If you don’t have a cool clothing store in your city, then make a day-trip to a big city where they have one.

Move to an area with many young people. In most major cities, there are typically a handful of apartment complexes or housing communities that have lots of single people in their 20-30's. On a warm sunny day, you will find 15-20 girls sunning themselves by the pool in these places.

They are typically in downtown areas, not the suburbs. The layout of the community is important. You want one that puts you in close quarters with many other people: it’s not some sprawling community where you only see your immediate neighbors. That is where you want to live.

I know you like your current living arrangement. It’s like your fortress of solitude where you get to read Anthony Robbins and masturbate. But for one year, you are going to live in close quarters with cool people.

Sign up for a coed sports team. Most cities have a coed sports league. If not, you can find something similar through the YMCA. The teams tend to meet once a week for 6 week seasons. Do maybe 3 seasons of this.

Let's examine these three key words here:

Coed…so you will be around girls

Sports…so you will be around physically active people, who tend to be more socially adjusted.

Team …so you will be part of a team. The quickest way to build personal bonds with people is to do something as team. Studies have shown this.

Say it aloud: "coed…sports…team."

This doesn't mean, "Photogrpahy Classes", or "Inner Game Discussion Group", or "Toastmasters", or "Aikido Classes."

It means a coed sports team.

Get a part-time job at a cool clothing store. You are going to get a part-time job at a cool clothing store—the kind that sell $90 t-shirts and always play Goldfrapp in the background. If you can't get a job at a cool clothing store, then a moderately chodey store is okay: Express, Banana Republic, The Buckle, Metropark, etc.

Here you will be in constant contact with hot girls. At first, you will think many of them are shallow. Some of them are. They may be aloof at first. But after awhile, you will simply accept them for what they are.

Hot girls will become an engrained part of your reality. You will no longer feel that weird sense of disconnect when talking to hot girls. You will belong to the same social world. I cannot emphasize how incredibly important this concept of “belonging to the same social world of hot girls” is to your progress.

Commit to going out 3x per week to do approaches. Once you add cold approaches on top of this, you will get very good, very quickly.

After 6 months, take a bootcamp. The coach will correct any glaring things that are holding you back.


Each one of these by themselves won’t help you much—even the bootcamp and cold approaches. But combine these seven things and there is an enormous of synergy between them. If you do each of these things and don’t assume you’re above any of them, you will get good a in a year.

I hope 2008 is a good year for you, and it is in fact the big year you want to be.

Peace.

[1] Original thread

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