I don’t know what to say?

From Real Social Dynamics Wiki

Jump to: navigation, search

Ask any RSD instructor how many times he has heard someone say 'I don't know what to say'? It’s a pretty common statement from newbies, and now we have a bunch of really cool ways of dealing with this on a program so this doesn’t come up as an issue any more.


How many of you see this as something holding back your success with women? The perfectly crafted set of lines which will push her buttons and make her attracted to you. If this is an issue for you read on...


So before we deal with how to never have this problem again, I’ll go into the fundamental flaw problem with this statement.


How old are you? How many years have you been on this planet? Maybe 18 years? Maybe 21 years? Maybe 30/40 or even 50 years +? Its actually pretty irrelevant how long, the point is you have a whole bunch of life experiences. This gives you YOUR OWN PERSPECTIVE, which is unique and is valuable (regardless of what anyone tells you, or worse your own self talk that may have convinced you its not). I’ll return to this point in a minute.


So why would you suddenly have NOTHING to say. Why suddenly do you not know what to say anymore? It’s the way your brain is currently wired up. Everything you are saying is running through this filter of ‘whatever I say has to be interesting enough to get her attention’. All this pressure you put yourself under to come up with something interesting to say is screwing you over.


So, if your running out of things to say it is because you are trying to sub-consciously match up to some girl you’ve just met 5 minutes ago standards, rather than impose your own. This is the basic problem of relying on ‘demonstrating high value’ to a girl, because she can tell on some level you feel the need to impress her. The when you run out of ‘material’, whether after 5 minutes, 5 hours or whatever she will feel the gap between your CORE persona and your PICK UP persona, and this isn’t attractive. Those pauses in the interaction, where you are trying to calibrate the perfect sequence of statements that will unlock her panties and give you access to her vagina get interpreted as you placing WAY too much importance on the interaction, hence a bunch of guys are running around with ‘tight game’ but no tight pussy to follow.


To fix this problem you need to look at yourself. Are you placing too much importance on an interaction with someone you have just met? When you can’t think of something to say, just say something, anything, and remember that all of this stuff is in your head. Those fears, desires, all that ego and false self pride that is holding you back is just a bunch of bullshit, and the first step is to recognise it as a bunch of bullshit.


Problem diagnosed. How do I solve the problem?


Read all the posts on this forum about bringing the party, unreactive game, approaching with full expectation of success etc. Reset your criteria for success when you go out to simply putting your personality on the line and offering value. Put your real self out there, and it will all follow on from there.


Any time you do run out of things to say, you can take one of two immediate actions. You can either stand there and just stare at the girl, and force her to carry the weight of the interaction, or just say anything, and start the process of learning what you have to say is valuable, not based on how interesting it is, but based on who is communicating it (AKA… YOU!). Either way, the basic frame underlying the interaction is YOU are subtley screening her, not trying to match up to her standards.


You have lived for anything between 18-60 years. You have served your time. Your perspective has value, so the key thing is to focus on developing trust in what you have to say as being valuable, rather than trying to learn some lines that will make you appear valuable. This is setting the foundation, the foundation that enables you to express yourself fully, not worrying about material and gimmicks etc.


http://rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=3547

Personal tools