Making a relationship work. LTR

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In this thread I will post a series of observations about relationships. There some traps people fall into when shifting priorities from ONS to LTR. Furthermore, I will try to keep my posts both in language and structure as simple as possible - considering that my old style tends to confuse people and make points less clear

If a girl comes across a guy who doesn't value and goo goo gaa gaa over her looks like all the other people, then she will give him the time of the day. I don't know whether it rebuilds her self image though. I think that is something that she can only do herself.
http://realsocialdynamics.blogspot.c...g-article.html
"Am I just vying for a relationship because I got lucky this one time and can't figure out how to repeat the result, and I think that it might be a while until I get laid again??" If that's the case, you're still coming from a position of total scarcity!! Relationships with truly attractive women come from a position of abundance, not insecurity...... Point blank period.

In these two quotes lies the one main key that allows you to keep attraction during a relationship intact. As hard as it may sound: A girl is only so long 'in your team' as long as she is attracted to you.
Once that's gone, you're done - be it after a month, a year or even prior to marriage. In order to keep her your concept of love has to change. Sometime during the relationship you become more attached to the relationship than her which kills her attraction, so let's examine how you become more attached. The concept of love that we've grown up with makes us believe that being in love involves thinking of her as 'the one special girl'.
Funnily enough, if our love isn't reciprocitated we find all sorts of rationalizations why she actually wasn't 'the one'. [Remember Tyler's story in the blueprint about his chode youth] Once you begin to think of her as 'the one' all sorts of needy, attachement-based thoughts creep in and you, as a man, find yourself in the role of pushing the relationship towards being more serious. You may also begin to find yourself lowering your standards and personal boundaries.

Anyway, generally speaking you've got to understand that AS A MAN obsessing over being in a relationship is NOT your role. You've already had sex. What more do you want?

Another vital point is trust. About that I'll write later.

[edit] Making a relationship work. LTR #2

This is the second post on relationships. It explains why girls can actually trust players more than provider chodes, why qualification is so important and why money/providing qualities are irrelevant.

Trust is derived from qualification. You can never stop qualifying her as she bases her trust on that. Why is qualification so essential?
Do you know people that seem to fall in love with anyone that wants them? Or fall in love easily? What does it say about that person? Neediness? Yes, but even more important is that it communicates unreliability.
How can the girl rely on you to be with her in the future if she cannot even trust your love? When you are in the chode-love mode you are not actually in love with her but with an image that is purely in your own head. Furthermore, many guys play the game but once they get a hot girl they all of a sudden want to get into a relationship with her.
What does this communicate to the girl? The guy hasn't so far been anyone of her value and what's worse, most probably the guy will look over her negative characterists. Over time this will cause her to lose respect.
In order for the girl to have a rational basis that she can believe in to form trust there needs to be a rational foundation. Simple, basic things are enough, but chode illusions are no such foundation. This also means that a girl can trust a 'player' more than a 'chode'. The 'player' actually came from a position of where he could choose her.
If she can make him stick she will have reason to base trust on him.
If she picks the 'chode' what's there to give her assurance he won't leave her for the next hot girl to come along. Nothing. All she can do is hope that his imagination still favours her.
This is also why providing characteristcs and money play such a little role. What's in it for her if she can't trust you to also contribute for her in the long-run? If you're not qualifying the girl is always afraid you could leave her as she can't rationalize why you'd actually be with her in the first place.
If she looks for a reason but finds nothing she will think it's all because she's the only one willing to fuck you.

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