Mega-Post: Speaking from a place of COOLNESS

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Once you reach a certain point of self-development on this glistening journey of life, you will find yourself at a comforting little clearing in the forest where you internally feel fucking COOL and validated when you are by yourself.

Whether you are walking, shopping or going about your solo activities, you feel like MONEY. You KNOW IT. You feel mischievous, cool, relaxed, stellar, sexual, comfortable, devious and easygoing. You find yourself delighted in your own thoughts, and further reinforcing thoughts only serve to emphasize how you already feel, making you feel even better. If you have reached this point, then this thread is for you.

Your inner game is pretty solid, and now it’s time to take this a step farther and develop it into an unshakable identity. The hitch? This state of coolness is usually shaken up in the presence of other people.

You probably have noticed this: You feel fucking amazing walking by yourself on a gorgeous day, looking at the trees and the vibrant colors; everything you think… quite honestly… amuses the shit out of you. But suddenly a cute girl you know walks out of a coffee shop and runs into you. You two have a 30 second conversation where you succeed in making her laugh, and perhaps even getting her number to hang out later, but after she leaves, you are left with a peculiar, unsatisfied and almost emasculated taste in your mouth, but you aren’t quite sure why. It feels like you are slightly reactive or needy, but in such a subtle way you can’t quite be SURE; It’s difficult to place.

I’m going to talk about taking that cool feeling when you’re by yourself, and extending it to include speaking from that same place when in the presence of other people.

This is a fun concept to work on because now you have a good FOUNDATION to work from. You’ve fucking got this far and all is well, you just need to pay attention. This part is SWEET because it actually is a test of creatively being in the NOW.

I will post a good, pertinent example at the end of this thread, and explain everything in each ‘step.’

  • * *

As Tyler says…

“The Self is Always Showing Through!"

Let’s pretend you are sitting by yourself in class, feeling groovy and cool… not paying attention (you bastard!). Suddenly a gorgeous girl who you’ve talked to before, but haven’t gotten to know yet, sits next to you. Suddenly, you feel a tension. Right NOW… there is a fork in the road. There are two ways you can go:

. First is not paying attention to her at all, and acting as if you are still by yourself, before she sat down. Suddenly that coolness state resurfaces and a sly smile grows back across your face.
. Second is you switch OUT of your natural coolness state and divert your attention to what she is saying, putting you in a sort of emotional limbo that definitely doesn’t quite feel like your solo-coolness state.

Well the first case is what you’re aiming for, but what about the more likely choice number 2?

If you have in fact cultivated an internal coolness that you are happy with when alone, then continue reading.

You will notice that before you speak from this second state choice mentioned, you will get a very subtle EMOTIONAL WARNING not to say it, or to say something differently which is more harmonious with your coolness core. This idea is the basis for this article.

This is (one facet) of the SPIDEY-SENSE that people so often talk about. It isn’t thinking or analyzing.. it’s a FEELING that comes to you. It’s a very very subtle feeling that says “hey.. You’re stepping out of your solo-coolness-guy state.. don’t say it.. don’t do it…….” You won’t actually think these words, but it’s more of a very subtle weird-feeling pang of vulnerability that washes over you. Time to choose!

This is where THE NOW comes in! Often times at first you won’t even notice the warning, let alone be able to heed it. When you are in the moment, it doesn’t mean you lose your identity or anything stupid like that, it ALLOWS YOU TO NOTICE THESE VERY MINUTE STATE CHANGE WARNINGS! When you start listening to the now without all that mental noise and interference, you will develop a sensitivity to feeling that lets you know when you’re stepping outside of your natural solo-style coolness vibe or state into a needy or reactive state.

The easiest to recognize manifestation of this is the difference in feeling between before and after you run into the girl. Can you feel that difference? Can you feel how you might be able to, in time, maintain it?

You need to learn to be aware of this all the time so that your coolness SOLO identity will start to MERGE WITH your identity around people, allowing you to be cool ALL THE TIME. You do this by paying attention to the NOW and never straying from your coolness state.

To further expand on this feeling… When you notice her sit down next to you or say something, you might start to get a growing sense or feeling that you want to say something funny or witty, or you might subconsciously move your body to face her to give her your attention. It’s very slight and subtle, but it WILL feel different than your cool guy state. This is the WARNING. It feels somehow emasculated, EVER so slightly needy or reactive. It might feel like you’re trying to please her. Even if you don’t consciously THINK these things (hell, you might even deny that you’re doing them logically), it ultimately is all those feelings mixed into one constant uneasy, enfeebled feeling that washes over you.

As already mentioned, this is often so subtle that it’s quite easy to overlook it and just say FUCK IT, and say what was on your mind anyway. This is not desired because remember: the self ALWAYS shows through. Once you switch states, your INTERNAL SELF of neediness will show through and she will pick up on it. You must pay attention closely young grasshopper.

If you don’t heed the warning, and say the words anyway, you will probably notice that she will give a reaction that you weren’t really expecting, or she seems less interested than you had HOPED (key point: you shouldn’t be ‘hoping’ anything). She may just look at you and shrug or just not really pay attention at all. She may give a bland answer. Suddenly, you are REACTING to HER! You didn’t follow your own internal-gudiance warning. You changed your behavior in the first place (reacted to her) and thus set up a cycle loop of you reacting to her. If this loop continued, you’d feel a stronger ‘pang’ of neediness as a result of her coldness to your statement, and the prophecy would self-fulfill. You will be left with a ‘blahness’ or self-neediness taste in your mouth. The reason you are left with this feeling is because you chose to speak in a way that was INCONGRUENT with your natural coolness state. You compromised yourself in order to please her. Pay attention CLOSELY to the maintaining the coolness state and speaking ONLY from within it. If you can’t think of anything… talk with your body language how you really FEEL in that moment.

So what makes you want to compromise yourself and please her in the first place?

The neediness feeling that causes you to ORIGINALLY speak anyway, despite the warnings, is almost always caused by feeling that she will like you less because you are ‘IGNORING’ HER or being MEAN for not giving her your FULL ATTENTION. You might have an uneasy feeling like if you keep doing what you’re doing and ignore her, she will move onto something else and you’ll have ‘lost your chance.’ You might feel that she will become annoyed, disinterested or even disheartened if you don’t respond in a ‘fun’ way back (although remember, if there is no warning then by all means say that fun response).

All of this is actually the exact opposite of what WILL happen.

THIS IS BECAUSE THE COOL GUY STATE ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT’S GOING ON, and if it feels fucking cool to YOU, then IT IS NEVER WRONG. It knows what’s going on because that is YOU. That is the SELF. And when you are by yourself, that SELF is shining brightly, it’s only when people come around which throws a wrench in your spokes. This cool self is trying to tell you… don’t do it. Follow your own guidance like a religion, as yourself should be your best friend.

Whether that self is needy and reactive or cool, SHE WILL FEEL IT either way. If you choose the cool route, she will NOT lose interest no matterhow much your chode feelings tell you she will become disinterested or disheartened in you if you don’t dutifully respond to her. It’s impossible for a girl to lose attraction here because girls are biologically wired to be SUPER attracted to this UNREACTIVE, cool state (a trait of a masculine man). That is why girls love assholes, but were not in this to be assholes. You must move beyond that, because an assholes ‘coolness’ state doesn’t even hold a candle to your FUCKIN GLORIOUS NIMBUS state. It is hardly a comparison. That is why when she finds you, she will melt in your presence, as you are one unique mother fucker.

You are staying in your own state and not changing your behavior or feelings (you’re not ‘switching over’ to the other state as a result of her) based on what she says. She will notice that you are completely in the moment and will feel SAFE around you, because a MAN who has his priorities is one who can protect a girl and make her feel secure.

All of this is a CHOICE if you pay attention. This isn’t above your awareness or some abstract thing that takes a lot of practice to recognize. If you FEEL GOOD when you’re by yourself (you have most of your shit together), then all you have to do is pay attention to the state changes in situations which challenge your coolness attitude, and always HOLD ON to that cool feeling, don’t let it go. Always look at what people are saying THROUGH that feeling, let it engulf you. Don’t step outside of that no matter how much pressure you have to speak without feeling first out of fear. If you do this, strippers made of gold will fall from the sky.

  • * *

Here is a purposely arbitrary personal example from today in class. I picked something meaningless to help demonstrate how this applies to EVERYTHING. The self is ALWAYS COMING THROUGH, not just when you’re in attraction, not just when you’re in rapport. It applies ALWAYS, even if you’re just asking her for your keys.

I was sitting in the front row when this little hot number I’ve known for a while, but haven’t gone past attraction, sat down next to me. We bantered a little at the beginning, and at the end of class she said “ I have to go to the bathroom so bad!” Had this happened in my more chodeliness of days, I might have said “Yeah I do too!” because.. well.. I really DID have to piss like fuck, because I drank like 5 mountaindews.

In my reality today however, I was in my coolness state the entire class, and even though I did have to pee awfully bad myself, it would have brought up a warning feeling to say something like that above. So, congruent with my state, I searched my feelings said “thanks for reminding me of how much I have to go..” and I gave her a devious raised eyebrow. This doesn’t seem like a big difference, but it adds up. These are high value SUB-COMMUNICATIONS!

That came from the SELF. It may on the surface also seem like a more jackass thing to say, but she instantly giggled, said “Sorry!” I saw her state raise and attraction bump up ever so slightly.

Had I replied with “yeah I gotta go bad too!” I guarantee she would have felt no emotional spike at all, and probably wouldn’t have even responded. This is because I would be stepping out of my natural feel-fucking-good I AM THE MAN reality to give value to her (in this case playful energy) when she didn’t deserve it. Her level of value given to me did not meet my threshold to give a more ‘nice’ or ‘energetic’ answer. Had she put more into her response to me, it would raise my level of awareness and it would accommodate for a more INVESTED answer from me.

Girls WILL pick up on this and if they notice that you don’t BREAK or YIELD for them, that you never deviate in your state to accommodate for their (usually meaningless) things they say, attraction WILL go through the roof. Of course this conversation would need to continue for some time for this to lead to the bedroom, but that is the principle. As a huge sidenote that you will have to figure out for yourself, this is where the whole process of naturally screening comes in.

  • * *

Lines and Routines

Those lines and routines you might memorize from this board are simply lines thought up in the MOMENT (The NOW) by fucking suave sonsabitches like Manwhore or Tyler at some point in their life. Maybe when they were getting a blumpkin on the shitter, or LORDING an entire California venue, what is important is that it happened in the moment, and it can happen ANYWHERE at ANYTIME. You do NOT need a perfect line for everything you say, it simply needs to stem from that cool centered state.

When I’m in state and I come across certain situations, I may encounter it numerous times before something ‘witty’ pops into my head. I’ll make a mental note that I like it, and I’ll remember it for next time. That DOES NOT mean I have to use it every time I encounter that same situation to gain attraction, NOR does it mean I have to say something of that same witty caliber in every other situation. QUITE THE CONTRARY!

YOU MAY SIMPLY SAY “ okay..” in certain situations, and girls will GIGGLE LIKE FUCK because they KNOW and FEEL based on their social calibration that you are speaking from your cool core without deviating from the spidey-sense of neediness. Suddenly their attraction for you goes right up, despite whatever contradictory feelings of yours try to tell you otherwise (you are listening to the warnings, right?).

Their attraction leads them to try and please you because they feel your completely centered coolness. When you ignore those contradictory feelings, and take on this seemingly ‘colder’ and more dominant presence around them, you will GAIN attraction. It may feel like you have ignored them so much, but this RAISES THEIR AWARENESS around you. Suddenly they will feel social TENSION around you because they want to say the ‘right’ things, and they will think more about what they’re saying before speaking. You become a sort of dominant figurehead. Suddenly they are in a reaction feedback loop to YOU. Fuckin’ hell ya! Now when they start to say things which raise less ‘warning alarms,’ THEN you can go and put more invested words into the interaction. NOW they will feel as though they have earned it, and the cycle repeats.

  • * *

The best part of all this is now you can truly start to search yourself to find things which are CONGRUENT with this coolness state in new situations. This is a creative process.

This plateau of learning is totally fucking FUN because now that you have a coolness state established, and you know HOW TO STICK TO IT, you can start to develop its STRENGTH. When you become aware, you will many a time find yourself in situations where you can search your ‘coolness’ feelings... really FEEL IT, really embrace that feeling, and simply let a response EMENATE out of you (or.. not responding at all is perfectly legit). On the other hand, you may take the other path and speak just to speak, always with much less powerful results, and often setting up the wrong kind of feedback loop from the start.

Very important: I am NOT talking about simply finding WITTY responses. I am talking about finding any and all responses to generic situations which resonate with your COOLNESS vibe right down to its CORE. You need to eventually be unshakable. Any response, whether it’s witty or not, IS IMPORTANT. The self is always coming through! I’m sure you’ve met a hot girl who said something TOTALLY BLAND, yet it sounded fucking AWESOME to you. This is it. She has a very strong sense of her own ‘coolness state,’ and she has become comfortable with speaking FROM it, letting responses emanate out of her and strictly following those warnings. That is how certain hot girls can be around you, they can be TALKING TO YOU, maybe even calling you cute, but at the same time they give off a very strong non-neediness vibe. They may also say “ yeah” and you will think “God DAMN that is like…. such a HOT response to that situation. How did she do that?”

At first, you probably won’t have enough time or recognition to truly search your feelings for a good response which matches your coolness state. The pressure of not having something to say will probably outweigh maintaining the cool state, and you’ll be forced to respond prematurely with something that’s more in between: not cool yet, but also not entirely needy. That is perfectly OKAY. In time you will start to NATURALLY find SOLID, UNREACTIVE things to say to ANY situation, completely regardless of whether they are witty or not.

HERE is the fucking delightful part because you will start to SURPRISE yourself. When you truly are in touch with your feelings and warning signs, the ease with which you will handle ‘shit tests’ (haha fuck that term, they won’t even apply to you anymore), AMOGS, bitchy girls and any other situation will totally BLOW YOUR FUCKING MIND. You will stand amazed before your own AWESOME POWER. This will only further reinforce the NIMBUS, burning like a fucking fiery inferno of BRILLIANCE that grows hotter and hotter with each passing moment…


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