Nature versus Nurture

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Nature versus Nurture: the natural inside you, and the Identity you chose.

If you not a natural, how to become a natural? How did naturals become naturals if they weren’t already that before? If you are going to change your identity, then don’t you lose your congruence and as a result have weak inner game? Some say that it’s not a case of learning, but rather unstifling. How do you implement something that you don’t literally implement? How can all the RSD instructors, as different as they are all get consistent results. Are they all natural? But they are all so totally different. Tyler speaks about the dynamic existence of your identity. People change ‘who they are’ over time. Does this mean weak inner game? There is a lot of static noise in the community. All of which is accurate but missing one conceptual thread to tie it all together. The final piece of a puzzle that when complete reveals a conclusive model. My background is in science of psychology. One of the biggest issues that psychologists of all fields are concerned with is the question of nature versus nurture? Was the patient born that way, or did he develop that way. A result of genetics or experience?

For example, is a gay guy born homosexual or does it develop over time? Is there a chemical pattern to this phenomenon? In some cases people are sure they are gay form the times of pre-school, while others aren’t assured or their sexuality until their late fifties? Usually the answer is a combination of both. In some cases totally genetic, in some cases it is developed after normal heterosexual relationships. Who you are, your identity is composed of two things. Your nature: genetics, your body, physical chemical and biological (unconscious) and your nurture: your experiences, passions, memories, interests, fears (conscious). The guys who I have seen as the very best in the game, old friends of mine from my football club and of the hundreds of students I have had and my elite level colleges the absolute best are commonly of the highest integrity. By integrity, for game purposes I refer to the notion that they have no ego. What you see is what you get. They are totally unapologetic about who and what they are. If they are unapologetic about it they are passionate, they have a great energy. A person of true integrity has the tightest inner game out. He trusts himself, he’s not worried if people see the real him because, in his opinion, it’s great. Women gravitate towards this. This is nimbus. Attraction is a function of your ability to put your personality on the line. As a side note, women read your inner game by mirroring you, as reported by Louann Brizendine author of the bestseller ‘The Female Brain’. This is done by the girl subconsciously mirroring your behaviour, scanning for anxieties and inconsistencies and then feeling them in her own body. Basically if you are comfortable she will be too. If you are exited, she will be too. Bad news is, if you are feeling uncomfortable talking to her she will feel it to. If you feel apologetic, she will feel the same. The self is always coming through, like it or not. Good news is if you dial your integrity attraction is not a choice. Your value will shine through loud and clear. Just like when a guy sees a model in a bikini climbing out of a pool. An unescapable fact of life.

The old enemy social conditioning is to blame here. You are uncomfortable because you think you are supposed to be. Self actualisation overrides social conditioning. Metaphorically social conditioning is like being taught to walk the wrong way. Cognitively you were always programmed with the capability to learn how to walk, but SC steps and forces you learn the wrong technique. Self actualisation is the process of unlearning the incorrect technique. There is no faking until you making it here. It’s already there. Buried, in every single man.

But what is it that you are unearthing? What then is the right technique? Your nature that if you don’t accurately embrace you will never truly be congruent? Resulting in you feeling uncomfortable and the girl feeling just as uncomfortable. It’s the same traits that every instructor has, every great natural has and what pre-socially conditioned boys have. Living in the moment, positive dominance and escalation. Three little things that if wholeheartedly understood and embraced will render you congruent with what you were born as, leading you to be more comfortable with yourself and resulting in the girls being comfortable around you. The traits of the naturally attractive guy. The traits that if you weren’t incorrectly conditioned otherwise would have shone through naturally on their own. These traits are similar to those catalysed by alcohol, the pillar of the western social world. When you drink the cognitive part of your brain is inhibited, you lose the ability to focus on much more than what is in front of you and without a second thought you more comfortably act on your desires. Congruence is the KEY to attraction, it cultivates tight inner game namely making you high value. On the nature side of things you were designed to focus on the moment, to be assertive, unreactive and generate you own state. What we call presence and positive dominance. The man is comfortable with who he is also comfortable to escalate. Did you ever get blown out for escalating? Probably not. If you can’t answer that question get into the field.

Can’t be congruent if you don’t know what you are. Thousands of field hours with hundreds of people have demonstrated that these are the keys to understanding the unconscious side of your true self. Now the other half of your true self. The side that explains why instructors can be so different and still get consistently outstanding results. Although each instructor is externally different, has different mannerisms, hobbies, histories and passions at their core each possesses these key traits. Game is a celebration of your ‘self’. But your self can be dynamic and changing. I used to love to play football, now I love to watch go out and be social. My passions or anyone else’s are the jump start to their nimbus. Ask someone what they are passionate about and watch as their eyes light up, the energy is amped up and they are more fun to be around. Remember that girls draw their state from external sources, men, you. If you have a good state, so will she. Now, if you are incongruent with your passions, or you don’t have any you will never find the nimbus. If you are apologetic about your passions, not proud of what you are and what you love you will always be incongruent and as a result experience anxiety continuously. If you have anxiety, so will she. So, what I’m saying is that there are two levels to your identity, to your ‘self’, to who you are. The next line of reasoning states that any girls you interact with will get their state from you. Underlying these facts is the number one rule that you are congruent with yourself(i don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of me), which means tight inner game making you a high value guy and attractive. Know what you were born into, embrace it and express it. It makes game very simple and fun, especially because it will generate the sticking point of ‘girl time management’. And enjoy expressing unapologetically what you like to do. It doesn’t matter if its aeronautical engineering or watching TV, the fact that you are proud of it, and who you are is what’s going to make you a naturally attractive guy. Diagram time, the circle is representative of a person. On the inside is what you were born as, what every man has inside of him, what the great guys have in common. On the outside is the way you express yourself, your dynamic personality that you are proud for everyone to see. Attraction is a function of your ability to put your personality on the line.

This concept is almost exactly the same as ‘offering value’. There is no ego to this, what people see is what people get. Integrity, no internal anxiety, hence, none for her. Proud, unstifled expression of your self IS nimbus. Confidence happens when you perceive that nothing holds you back. Really simple actually. Notice how the diagram looks like cone of a stereo speaker? Be the music, that is all there is. Cool. Alexander~

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