Now You GOTTA Act

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Guys...he cant stay at the same level you're at if you have a desire to get better at this game. You either get better or worse.

Here's why.. Every time you choose to do OR not do something it creates a reference point in your mind. This is your brain's subconscious way of scanning back to things you've done in your past. It gives you confidence in doing something you've already done.

Repeated reference points create reference points for acceptable behaviour. No matter how much you try to convince yourself logically that its best to do something else, the reference point for acceptable behaviour will always win out. Its your norm. This is why you might know you should be approaching or closing but cant do it anyway. Your brain resists as it chooses the acceptable behaviour over the new one.

If you always put on a headscarf then it becomes a cool, ok thing to do. If you always hold doors open for women it becomes something that you do which is cool for you. If you always go the same route to work then that specific journey becomes something you do. The same thing applies to language that we use. Loads of people have catchphrases and little words that they use.

These acceptable behaviours can be drawn from the inside (part of being internally validated) or from the outside (French people kiss both cheeks, bros in the ghetto do the secret handshake...whatever that is...imagine a newcomer to the ghetto looking to greet a friend with a kiss on both cheeks...).

Now to game. Let's use getting over approach anxiety as an example. Every time you don't approach a woman you create a reference point for acceptable behaviour in your mind for NOT APPROACHING. Your mind has another lego brick added to that world which says NOT APPROACHING A WOMAN IS OK. IT'S FINE.

And if you wanna get good with women it not. Like you've created an unacceptable acceptable pattern of behaviour.

Every time you do approach you create another reference point for approaching being the acceptable pattern of behaviour.

Think of it like weighing scales. Every time you get the urge to approach you are gonna add a weight to one side. This HAS to happen. If you don't approach you're gonna add that weight to the "not approaching" side of acceptable behaviour where your mind thinks its fine not to approach. Every weight thats added to this side it gets a bit easier not to approach. If you DO approach you're gonna add that weight to the "approach" side. You'll have another reference point for success and its gonna be that much easier to approach.

Which side are you gonna let win?

And this applies to EVERYTHING. Are you going to escalate? Are you going to go for the close? Are you going to get yourself to the gym?

Every time you don't you let your mind know that its that bit more acceptable not to. Every time you do you let you mind know its that bit more acceptable to do it.

Both inaction and action become easier and easier the more you do it. Which are you gonna choose?

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