Recognize the trick part of CORE TRANSFORMATION

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Core transformation is not something that happens over night.

In the beginning... you are a chode who sees everything in a negative light. Situations, the beauty of life, opportunities, conversations, self-worth, energy, recognition of progress ALL are clouded by the lower vibration you are emitting. You see through this dirty lens and you are left with a shitty taste in your mouth that you can't escape; you realize how your tone sucks, your low energy fucks things up, you're boring.. you analyze about pumping states, buying temperature. Am I manipulating? WHY is my ego manipulating?? My fucking ego... You resist...Power of now is good for 10 seconds until you're sucked right back into that Indiana Jones quicksand of DOOM.

  • INSERT HERE successes, failures, threesomes, money shots, gangbangs, slaps, fights, spit, blood, booze, tears, pink care bears, 3 second makeouts, skull-fucking, LORDING, Jiffy Pop, emotional breakdowns *


The journey of your TRANSFORMED state never ends, but it does reach a consistent point, and that is the 'end' I am referring to here.

At some point you'll wake up 99% of days with a great feeling, pull up the blinds, smell the breeze, watch the butterflies flutter past your sunbeaming windows, take a deep breath and smack that little caramel booty as she walks out of your glistening bedroom to get you some water. Of course you will have high points and low points, that is what life is about... but your chode self will be destroyed, or so far removed that if it ever does pop up, your thought patterns have become powerful enough... with enough momentum, to crush through them like the little punkass bitch that it is.

Sweet. But what happens in between those two points? After you start to see transformation, but before you start to see consistent transformation... You will probably feel like you have two sides to you..

These two sides will alternate as days go by, depending on how you are living your life and what you're thinking and feeling about. The bad feels really bad, and the good feels really good. Furthermore, because BOTH sides are within you and you have experienced both in contrast to each other, it exponentially makes the bad side feel even WORSE, but it also makes the good side feel even BETTER!

This is opposed to the sheep who go through their whole life never realizing they can step OUT of this constant haze of the mind which has become completely NORMALIZED for them. They never know what it feels like to feel TRULY GOOD, BLISSFUL and full of JOY. They don't know how it's so much EASIER to live like this. Suddenly holding a conversation with everyone you see and offering value is like... obvious. Duh. It's something that is completely congruent, normal, EFFORTLESS, and subconscious.

LEADING suddenly becomes natural, but for reasons that cannot be explained to a lower vibration in a way they will 'understand.' One can only know what its truly like to be in that state, by being there, which is determined by the direction of thought and what you 'let in' to your conscious (which in turn imprints your subconscious). If common alpha-like states which are often talked about on RSD (like leading, self-amusement, living in the now, etc) are looked at from a lower place, they can very easily take on negative light. It might seem like truly leading is 'manipulative' or not considerate of other people, self-amusement might become dancing monkey. Living in the now might be 'avoiding your true identity.' When you ARE in these states however you FEEL THEIR ESSENCE. This is the paradoxical nature things, how they seemingly can be invisible or false, unless you're THERE.

These lower states have been ENGRAINED in thought patterns, and normalized. Core transformation is the process of suffocating the FUCK out of this side of you by overwhelming it with the infinitely more powerful divine side of you, full of bliss, totally saturated in the NOW...CRUSHING any pathetic thought you have like those big gray slab obstacles in Mario.

The stage where you have both HERO and CHODE inside of you at the same time can be difficult. On your low days, you will totally be UNABLE TO SEE the successes you had previously from the perspective of your higher vibration. You literally won't be able to 'see it.' Those experiences are OUTSIDE of your present, lower vibrating reality. This is why this part is tricky... the other half of the duality is 'invisible' to you when you're not IN it, so you can't use it as leverage to pull you OUT of the lower state. You can't simply think about the good experiences when you're feeling like shit to pull you out, because those good experiences are TOO FAR REMOVED. Your mind will literally MAKE UP things which aren't true that try to discredit your attempt. Realize this this tomfoolery. No one likes tomfoolery. Hell.. I don't even think anyone likes the WORD tomfoolery.

Therefore this is a process of not only eliminating the chode side of you, but also not falling prey to these illusionary negative thought patterns which can be very tempting.

You'll look at all your own posts from an ON night, or you'll go over a night and you'll falsely pick them apart. They seem distant, not you, 'dreamlike.' You'll misinterpret things and everything might seem hopeless.

Then on your ON nights you'll wonder how you could have ever thought such ridiculous things, you go out, LORD, have a fucking amazing time, you literally feel the pure energy of being rushing through you like ice cold Gatorade.

I have a good example when I went through this phase. One day, a truly AWESOME day, I edited my Myspace and put a shitload of witty comments in there that were emotionally charged, powerful and leading. I had quite a number of comments from people who said they loved it.

Some time later, after waking up 4 or 5 days in a row with a headache, feeling like a chode, procrastinating and so on, I looked at my Myspace again. Disgust washed over me as I read it. I could only think... "how could I be so emotionally manipulating?" I re-edited it and took all of what I thought to be false-buying-temperature-spikes right out of it. I made it much less emotionally involved because I felt like previously it was simply pushing buttons and that it 'wasn't me.' I was only trying to pump girls up to boost my ego.

Well, some time after that I woke up in an AWESOME mood thanks to some positive soul-seeking, and I reread what I had edited. Totally fucking bland. I realized that in my lower state, I had edited out all the great things I put in there in the first place for the WRONG REASON. When I was changing it, I thought I was falsely spiking buying temperature just to button push. Then, I remembered what I had originally wrote and realize that wasn't the vibe I was giving off at all. Instead, I was completely involving girls in my rockstar rollercoaster of life and emotions. My mind MADE UP that negative shit from that perspective to unravel what I had accomplished so that it could MAKE SENSE of it.

It's important to realize this so that you don't let this temporary downtime kill your motivation, otherwise you're going to slip back towards the chode end of the spectrum. Don't dig up the good seeds you have planted.

Disassociate yourself and realize that you really DO have the capability within you, and that any 'discrediting thoughts' you have about yourself ARE SIMPLY THE CHODE FIGHTING FOR IT'S PATHETIC SURVIVAL. Just let them go and mindfully watch them pass. In certain cases, even trying to do THAT may not 'work,' and in that case just let go and don't resist. Just be. Go do something else and every so slightly direct your thoughts to things which make you feel better, and eventually you will start attracting thoughts which will have you back on your feet in no time.

In good time you'll find that your AWESOME mornings waking up will be more plentiful, and the groups of days where you feel like taint will become fewer, with a shorter duration.


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