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Real Social Dynamics Wiki - Unreactive vs Inexpressive

Unreactive vs Inexpressive

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The idea of Unreactive game has changed my results from someone who gets girls but fairly inconsistently and its all a bit hit and miss to someone who has almost unlimited choice with women where ever I go.

So what is Unreactive game?

Put simply, it is about setting your own standards, rather than trying to match up to other peoples all the time. That is what living in reaction is, trying to match up to someone else’s standards and ideas (often societies). So, do you think that living in reaction is likely to make you one of the 5% of males that get 95% of females?

My answer is no.

Many people actually struggle with the idea of unreactive game. After all, if they have been going out for awhile they may have a series of scripted lines, techniques and gimmicks which may guarantee a result. The girls may actually be attracted to you. The problem often is a whole bunch of guys like this are suddenly getting frustrated because they get 95% flakes, or they can't hold a relationship down etc. They make the mistake of believing MONKEY attraction is enough to get them laid (and it will sometimes, though its less consistent IME ad is often due to other things, not just the monkey attraction). Often the problem is more fundamental than simply using a series of lines designed to entertain a women, often it is something to do with feeling inadequate without the lines etc.

This is where the real problems begin. When your sense of self or core confidence is tied into a script, a gimmick or anything that isn’t an authentic expression of who you are, the girls hold the real power because they can withdraw attention from you at any time, and challenge your identity of being a Pick Up Artist. The worst thing about this is you may have done a couple of thousand cold approaches and you can't even remember what the names or face of the last 10 girls you met were, but you still need something from the girls, you still need their attention, validation etc to maintain your own identity. That’s why you can see so many pick up artists get blown out ONCE in a club and their state is gone, suddenly they aren't this unstoppable machine anymore. This is still the same black hole neediness that turns girls off, just in the form of their validation of your skills, not because you really need that one special girl like the average chode.

So what is the answer?

OUTFRAME IT. Your already higher value than the girls in a club. Don't tie your sense of self or your identity into what girls think of you. Have your own values, that aren't some bullshit you saw on TV, or some hot pretty girl, or some model walking up and down a catwalk pouting her lips and her fake tits etc. Become unmoved by superficial things, focus on what matters to you, the value you offer, what makes you a cool guy. How you can improve yourself as a person, to make yourself a better person for you, not to impress some 18 year old girl in a night club with fake tits, fake tan, high heels and a mini skirt.

So the basic idea is to understand what your core values are, not to try and make them 'inline' with what you think might be attractive to a girl, but because it is an expression of who you are? Your own core personality. Anytime you get drawn into a girl purely because she is hot, and you wind up doing something for her you wouldn’t do for other people in general, you are buying into her frame, and on some level being drawn into the same superficial bullshit that is stopping you score girls like that. This is something that can be seen consistently all over the world, anywhere you go.

I speak to many guys who have been going out for awhile and they struggle with the idea of unreactive game because they are so tied into there reaction creating game plan. The whole idea of offering value and just putting yourself out there is too daunting, because they are trying to hold on to this sense of having ‘perfect game’, or being able to get every girl they open etc.

This is a super weak idea. Why? Say you go out 4 nights a week. You open 10 groups of women up. Say you could get 8 phone numbers. Then you have 32 girls to call in one week. You call up all 32, and set up day 2’s for every night of the next week. Make it so your inviting 3 girls per date, even then you still can’t possible see all the girls you opened. It is not physically possible to have sex with all of these women, so why care if they liked you or not?

So you can’t have sex with all of these women, and the idea of wanting to implies you don’t have your own standards and values as you are willing to try and sleep with any girl you open, which obviously makes you less attractive in the first place. So, a whole bunch of guys are caught in this cycle of opening plenty of sets, getting plenty of numbers, getting a bunch of flakes and are no closer to scoring the types or quality of women they want.

The funniest thing is a friend of mine said to me a little while back ‘the idea of unreactive game sounds great, but the problem is I don’t feel I can express myself fully’. My response was ‘WTF, when you go ask girls about 3 gay cats, jealous girlfriends, blonde hair etc you feel you are fully expressing yourself’. The penny dropped faster than the titanic. Before he knew it he agreed with me, and actually saw how week it was that he had so much power invested in his material. Last week he got laid for the first time in ages with ‘the hottest girl he ever fucked’.

No-one ever said being unreactive implied being inexpressive. It’s actually a license to fully express yourself. Put your personality on the line, build core confidence so you know you have options with women, and will also carry you through the rest of your life too.

I’ll give you a quick note I keep for myself, and refer to if I feel myself slipping into old habits.


Bish’s Cheatsheet 2007

1) Offer Value 2) Put your real personality on the Line 3) Don't give a fuck what anyone thinks of you 4) Don't take ownership of other peoples reactions to you

Simply following this has skyrocketed my success with women


http://rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=2407

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