Unreactivity

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Disclaimer: This is not the DIRECT opinion of RSD staff, but rather a definition of Reactiveness that I have derived from reading this board

I have noticed a lot of people talking about being unreactive/reactive and etc... and I believe a lot of guys out there are totally confusing this concept and probably missing a lot of great opportunities to close, vibe, or just generally have fun.

A lot of people are taking RESPONSE TO STIMULUS or simple REACTION as being reactive. Being unreactive DOES NOT mean shutting yourself off to stimulus from the environment! IT IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE. Being Unreactive means being able to take in everything that goes on around you in your reality and have it NOT NEGATIVELY EFFECT YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE.

Three main concepts – Reaction, Responsive, Reactive

Reaction

This is what happens when the doctor taps your knee with the little hammer. Your leg kicks. It’s a fucking reaction, this one in particular is involuntary. This is kind of like your autopilot responses. You can suppress it, but if you are not actively concentrating on it, it happens on its own. There are also voluntary reactions which you chose to do. Neither of these IN AND OF THEMSELVES are considered being EMOTIONALLY REACTIVE. You have reactions, period, otherwise you are simply NOT calibrating to anything going on around you, are CUT OFF from reality and probably are acting like a social retard.

BEING IN YOUR OWN REALITY DOES NOT MEAN BEING CUT OFF FROM REALITY.

Responsive

This is the second thing I want to go over... being responsive. Responding to people is NOT BEING REACTIVE!!

- Acting on IOI’s NOT REACTIVE - Negging people NOT REACTIVE - Walking away from a chick who is totally un-fun NOT REACTIVE

There are tons more things that are RESPONSES that are not BEING REACTIVE that a lot of people have been misinterpreting, I could go on forever but that would take up too much space 

Sometimes I can smell an IOI from across the room. I will cross this room and walk up to the girl with a huge shit eating grin and say “Hi, I’m Jack D. Who are you?” Is this being reactive? Because I responded to her IOI? DEFINITELY NOT.

An HB I’m gaming busts out with some intolerable negative shit that persists even after plowing.. it is just so outside of my reality I don’t care to continue the interaction. I say “hey it was nice meeting you...” backturn and walk off to have fun. Reactive? NO.

Most important, the positive side...

I’m gaming a chick, claw opener, initiate kino and escalate. She presses up harder against my body.... gives more queues, and I escalate faster. Reactive? NO. Responding to queue’s is NOT REACTIVE! It’s just Calibration!

THE MITIGATING FACTOR: Dependance. If you become DEPENDANT on this kind of input for you to initiate an interaction, or to escalate, or to do ANYTHING, then you are being EMOTIOANLLY REACTIVE. It is holding your positive state and your progression back. This is the main way that people are detrimentally REACTIVE in the field...

Reactive

Now that we know what being Respnsive is... wtf is REACTIVE? It’s deadly and a total reality crusher, which is why so many people are concerned about it.

- Chick blows you out, enter negative thought loop REACTIVE - Chick does not invite kino escalation so you freeze and eject REACTIVE

Etc etc etc

Listen.... if your emotional state is DEPENDANT on stimulus or you are experiencing NEGATIVE STATE SHIFTS DUE TO EXTERNAL STIMULUS then you are being REACTIVE. PERIOD.

If there are a ton of people around you and you are having a great time and your state gets TOTALLY PUMPED... this is NOT REACTIVE!!! You are taking in your environment and your emotional state is being positively affected. This is good!! This is called having a good time!!

Being DEPENDANT on a girl’s RESPNSES however, is REACTIVE. It means that you need EXTERNAL VALIDATION that what you are doing is ‘correct’ and that ‘you may proceed.’ Acting on queue’s is NOT reactive. NEEDING queue’s TO ACT is absolutely REACTIVE.

THE BOTTOM LINE: If you are dependant on external validation then you are being reactive. If you are allowing negative emotional state shifts due to negative stimulus, you are being reactive. If you are acting out of your desire to act or experiencing positive emotional state shifts due to your environment, THIS IS NOT BEING REACTIVE.

Don’t trap yourself behind the great wall of unreactivity because, hey, if you FORCE this kind of ULTIMATE UNREACTIVITY and in turn don’t allow yourself to pick up on the great shit going on around you, I hate to break it to you, YOU ARE BEING REACTIVE.

Life is good, life is beautiful. Go fucking enjoy it.

So... I don’t expect everyone to agree with my view on this, but I’d love as much input on this topic as we can possibly get, so that way we at least have a thread to point people to when then have questions or confusions about unreactivity.

Cheers,

-JD

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