Walking like a duck

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If it walks like a duck, and it talks like a duck, than it probably is a duck.

Makes sense right? Well this idea applies hugely to pick-up – allow me to explain…

Have you ever noticed that it’s hard to be unhappy when you smile? Or that you immediately feel looser the instant you take that first sip of your cocktail? What’s happening here is that you’re associating these behaviors with the way you typically feel when engaging them. Your mind is backwards rationalizing – saying “oh, I’m smiling, I smile when I’m happy, therefore I must be happy” or “ah, I’m drinking a cocktail, I’m looser and more relaxed when I drink, therefore I’ll loosen up and relax”.

Well, between our natural instincts and our societal preprogramming, both males and females have similar triggers with regards to feeling attraction and wanting sex. Take for instance a male talking to an attractive female. Odds are he’s going to try to:

1.) Establish commonalities with her. Most likely this will take the form of asking a ton of mundane questions until he hits one he can relate to, i.e. “what kind of music do you like? … Oh cool! I love Pearl Jam”.

2.) Qualify himself to her. In the beginning he’ll talk about his job, how he makes good money and lives a fun lifestyle. He’ll also avoid disagreement at all costs and even hedge previous statements. For instance:

Guy: I love hamburgers. Girl: oh, I’m a vegetarian. Guy: Oh really? I’ve been wanting to do that. I’m trying to eat healthy so I’ve slowly been cutting meat out of my diet.

3.) Establish physical closeness or contact. Depending on how socially competent he is, the degree to which he does this will vary.

So then, in a given interaction, if you see these 3 things taking place it’s a safe bet to assume the guy is seeking to align with the girl who he perceives as having high value – most likely her attractiveness and sex value.

Interestingly enough, girls do the same things with a few minor twists.

For instance, rather than telling about their professional accomplishments, a girl will tell a man she likes about how she loves to cook, went to the gym, or is ‘a cool, drama-free girl’ – basically obvious things girls perceive as being valuable to guys.

So then, in a PU something of immense importance is getting the girl to “walk like a duck” – getting her to exhibit the same behaviors she would when trying to attract a guy she really likes. If you can make it LOOK and FEEL like she’s the one chatting you up, you’re creating a self-fulfilling prophecy and greatly increasing your chances of closing.

So then, what are some of these behaviors?

1.) Physical positioning – When a girl flirts with a guy she likes, he’s usually the relaxed ‘anchored’ one and she’s the one “talking in”. Meaning, he’s leaning against the wall while she’s standing facing him. Or he’s reclined and she’s sitting next to him with her legs turned towards him. Well, this can be pretty easily simulated by making sure that you are at all times at least as physically comfortable as the girl, if not more so. This means, if she’s standing, you’re leaning against something. If she’s leaning, you’re sitting. And if she’s sitting, you’re reclining. When you open, as you stand “on the outside” your value drops, you need to create the visual effect that she’s the one chatting to you ASAP. Usually you can just grab her by her arms, and move her a few feet so that you’re leaning against the bar/wall and she’s facing you.

It’s impossible to list out all the logistic ways this applies, but bottom line it should look like she’s hitting on you.

Also, have you ever noticed when you really spike a girl’s attraction, her head tilts down and her eyes look up at you? (DDB) Again, you can easily simulate this by simply keeping your head positioned above hers – certainly don’t feel like you need to engage her at eye level.

Another cool little thing…sometimes girls go into these little rant-like monologues. When they do, try letting your eyes wander around the room like you’re losing interest…just like girls do when guys start telling them about their job. It will look to everyone there like she’s trying to impress you with some story and you’re less than interested…she’ll pick up on this as well…after all, it’s the same thing she does when chodes start qualifying to her.

2.) Dialogue – When girls flirt with guys, they A.) seek rapport via asking questions. B.) Seek to highlight commonalities. C.) Talk about the traits that they think the man will value. With a little bit of conversational savvy, you can pretty easily get the girl harping on all 3 of these. Firstly, don’t ask lame questions. The time to exchange life details (job, residence, ect) will come – don’t be the one to initiate it. Also, when she asks you questions, prolong the sequence by giving less forthcoming than she’d expect. Ex:

Her: Where are you from? You: Give it a guess. Her: Ummm, Los Angeles? You: Haha, Terrible Guess! Her: Hahahha, I don’t know! Where? You: Haha, no worries, I’m from the East Coast. Have you spent much time in Europe? Her: Yeah, I was in Italy last spring – wait a minute – where on the East Coast? You: Oh awesome, I grew up in New York, how long were you there for?

So, above we have a totally natural sequence of dialogue, which even if the girl isn’t interested in the guy she’ll still go along with. At the same time though, the way she is almost forced to prod for the exact location is identical to the way she’d prod a guy she really likes for information.

With regards to B.) getting her to highlight commonalities, this can also be verbally orchestrated. For example:

You: I love ice cream, how about you? Her: Oh me too. You: Cool, I like mint chocolate chip, what’s your favorite flavor? Her: I like strawberry. You: Oh man, those two are like polar opposites, haha, I bet we have complete different taste in food. Her: No they’re not, they’re both sweet and they are both ice cream. Besides, I don’t always eat strawberry, I like mint chocolate chip too.

Ok, so ice cream is a lame example, but fact is, as a hot girl who’s not yet attracted to you she’s not likely to initiate seeking a commonality with you. So what you did is created a commonality (everyone loves ice cream), then took it away (different flavors). Her natural reaction is going to be to re-create that connection by convincing you of the commonality. Just like she would used to try to convince the captain of the football team they liked the same music ;-)

With regards to C.) - just do a search on qualification – plenty has been written on this already.

3.) Physical Contact/Kino: Girls are very touchy/feely with guys they like. Again, this can be simulated. We’re all familiar with The Almighty Claw, in all it’s glory. When you claw (arm around shoulder), what does it look like? It looks like you’re a confident guy who’s comfortable with physical contact and also feels a closeness with the girl. This is a great start, but take it one step further – next time you claw, reach behind your own back and guide her to put her arm around your waist. Now you look like a couple…you’re “together”.

Don’t be shy about guiding her to reciprocate kino – if they’re ok with you’re touching them, they’ll most often be fine with touching you in the same way.

We all know what female-to-male attraction looks like…heck we’re bombarded with it everyday in mainstream media. So next time you’re interacting with a girl, think about how things would “look” to an outsider, and align as much of that as you can with how it would look if she were desperately trying to flirt with you. Physical positioning, dialogue, and kino are just a few easily adjusted elements that can greatly change the appearance of an interaction and trigger in her mind “Well, I’m leaning into him, trying to create commonalities, and touching him…I must really like him”.

Cheers, Sparky

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