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Real Social Dynamics Wiki - What is fundamentally wrong with the community?

What is fundamentally wrong with the community?

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What is fundamentally wrong with the community?

The idea that picking up girls is DIFFICULT or HARD. That you need to be handsome, tall, well dressed, intelligent, thoughtful, considerate, a gentleman etc

Actually, the title is misleading. I should have called this post ‘what is fundamentally wrong with society and why the female/male dynamic is screwed up for a lot of guys?’

The truth is that picking up chicks isn’t that hard. Even getting hotter girls isn’t really harder. Not in the sense that you need better game to get them, or by calibrating tigher sequences of material you will be any more likely to have success with them.

If you’re reading this article, there is a good chance you are thinking or operating under a set of assumptions that are limiting you. For example:


I need to systematically raise my value and lower a girl’s value to manufacture attraction with women. Women are attracted to me because of my material, not because of my personality

I need lots of canned material for every situation, because I don’t trust myself to be spontaneous or interesting

I want validation from every girl I meet, because it is more important to me to get the feeling that they liked me than put my core personality on the line and risk rejection (and then realise rejection means nothing – and the fear I had was based on nothing and I would have to let it go)

I need to work hard on developing interesting stories to be entertaining enough to some girl I have never met and match up to her standards.

I try and make my conversation interesting for them, by catering what I have to say to there opinions rather than having strong opinions and tastes of my own and standing by them

I need to demonstrate value to women to create attraction, because I don’t think I have enough value for a stripper/model/TV babe/hot chick in a club wearing a mini skirt etc


I could continue…


The community is not to blame for this btw... Society is, the community is only a product of society. If you look at the stuff that comes out of Hollywood, TV shows etc we are literally being brainwashed everyday into having this irrational fear of picking up women. Is it real? Fuck no. Yet most people accept it as the status quo and never question it.

Even the idea of trying to adjust your value in a moment to a girl, or use NLP to ‘hypnotise’ a girl into liking you often comes from the same place.

Consider this statement.


Whenever you buy into a superficial value system, when your values are dictated to you by society, or anyone other than yourself then you are limiting yourself. Your always going to find someone richer, smarter, better looking, taller, more atheletic etc. You'll always find a girl who is prettier than the one you are with. (For many guys this forms the basis of their 'inner game issues')


If you think like most guys, the hot girl is the pinnacle of this system. The problem is if this really is your belief you are supplicating her before you approach. I really believe this kills attraction, and this is why you will see a bunch of field reports where guys approached 9’s and 10’s and got ‘buying temperature’ but the girls weren’t sexually attracted. Then they can’t work out why almost all of these girls flake, but the girls they consider to be 6’s and 7’s love them and they often get laid with these girls. BTW… I can guarantee a bunch of responses saying how they are scarce and they have so much choice and can pick and choose etc – which may be true for the average guy when she is looking for someone to take on the provider role. When it comes to sexual attraction, attraction isn’t a choice. It happens to 9’s and 10’s when cool guys approach them and they can sense they are for real.


The funniest part of the above example is that a guy can have seemingly tight game, yet when he meets hot girls doesn’t get the same level of attraction, even though his game isn’t noticeably different. The girls vibe it, and once they sense it poof… attraction is gone (or never existed).


The best examples I have ever seen of this is when I have worked with guys on bootcamps, or even my friends at times. Often they will get blown out and lose state. I’ll reset them to just approaching one girl and making her smile. No other fixed goal. I have seen loads of guys do this and then make out/pull the girl etc. Its so phenomenal what happens when you let go of this fear, forget all of these assumptions that are holding you back because you are not going in with a ‘hunter’ mentality. The same goes for guys approaching a girl and trying to get blown out but instead of being blown out the girl winds up attracted.


So, if right now you are like many guys who can run great sets but not get laid (or the results you want) then maybe it’s worth considering these assumptions. Is a hot girl really the pinnacle of my value system? If so, is this something that maybe stopping me from pulling these girls?


http://rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=4112

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